What I’ve Been Putting Off Doing — And Why

There’s a strange kind of silence that lives inside procrastination. It’s not loud. It doesn’t scream. It whispers. It hides behind excuses, behind responsibilities, behind grief and exhaustion. It tells you, “I’ll get to it tomorrow.” And then tomorrow becomes next week, and next week becomes never.

I’ve been living with that silence for a while now.

There are things I keep putting off — things I know I need to face, things that would move me forward — but I keep pushing them aside. Not because I don’t care. Not because I’m lazy. But because life has been heavy, and the weight of everything I carry sometimes makes even the smallest step feel like lifting a mountain.

Facing Myself

I’ve been putting off really facing myself.
The truth is, I’ve been tired — not just the kind of tired that sleep fixes, but the kind that sits deep in your bones. The kind that makes you question if the climb is even worth it. And every time I start to sit down and confront that feeling, I find something else to do. Clean the kitchen. Run an errand. Scroll on my phone. Anything but sit still with my own thoughts.

But the truth doesn’t go away because I ignore it.
I’ve been avoiding it because facing myself means facing my fears — that maybe I’m not doing enough, that maybe I’m not enough. But deep down, I know that’s not true. Deep down, I know facing myself is the only way I’ll grow.

Finishing What I Started

I’ve started projects and dreams that mean everything to me. The Climb Blog. The YouTube channel. The stories I want to write. The goals I keep tucked away. But they’re still sitting there, waiting for me to pick them up again.

Why? Because grief slows me down. Because uncertainty weighs me down. Because every time I try to focus on the future, the present demands all my attention — job searches, bills, health scares, responsibilities.

I’ve been putting off finishing what I started because finishing means committing. And committing means risking failure. But I know I’d rather fail trying than regret never finishing at all.

Letting Myself Heal

Maybe the biggest thing I’ve been putting off is allowing myself to really grieve. Losing my mother has been a wound I still don’t know how to touch. I clean. I cook. I stay busy. I do everything except sit in the silence and admit how broken I feel inside.

Grief is terrifying because it changes you. It strips you down and forces you to rebuild from pieces you never thought you’d have to pick up. And I think part of me has been afraid that if I start grieving, I won’t know how to stop.

But maybe that’s the point. Maybe healing isn’t about finishing grief — maybe it’s about living with it and still finding reasons to move forward.

The Why

So why do I put things off? Because I’m human. Because I’m scared. Because I’m exhausted. Because some days, just getting out of bed and trying again is all I have in me. And that’s okay.

It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. It’s okay to admit that you’re carrying more than people realize.

What matters is that you don’t stop forever.

The Promise

This is me holding myself accountable. This is me saying: No more hiding from what I need to do. I will face myself. I will finish what I started. I will allow myself to heal.

Not all at once. Not perfectly. But step by step. One breath, one decision, one climb at a time.

Because the mountain isn’t going anywhere. And neither am I.

💭 What are you putting off? And what would happen if you started today?